I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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