It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
