Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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