I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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