dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
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Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
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You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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