its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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