So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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