You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So much rum. So many feels.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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