your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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