Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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