shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
