I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I wish I only lived at night.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize