I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
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