you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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