Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize