Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
