After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
