That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
