dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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