I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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