You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
His nipple licking is glorious
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