I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
