I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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