so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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