Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
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You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
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I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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