It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
