4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
