Can Purell be used as lube?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
