You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
