you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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