You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize