I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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