I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
