Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
