I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
