I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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