Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
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This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
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I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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