I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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