high people should be assigned attendants
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize