pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
