Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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