Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
