Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
