i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
