you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
