I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
