eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
