The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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