We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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