I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
