Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
