He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
sarcasm needs its own font
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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