I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
