Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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