i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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