Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
