ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize