My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
