Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Four minutes until I can fart!
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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