When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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