people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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