Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
