I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
it glows. i had to have it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
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